It breaks her heart,she felt like a wanderer,She heard herself breathing,she drank more water,stared at her phone,which contained her only hope of laughter and smiles,she saw the message, but tried to prentend like it was not meant for her , She knew it was for her,she tasted it,the thing that Clots and holds her throat,she knew if she swallowed,the drops Of salty water would be freed,she wanted to fight ,wanted To be free from herself, from the people she adored,she felt Insecured,she lost her bestfriends,she lied more to hide her new self,she hates the fact that her laughter rings out the loudest, Her smile the widest,showing her non-equal,tiny teeth,she was Pretending to be her shadow,she was drifting.
IT’S 2011 IN OBAFEMI AWOLOWO UNIVERSITY. IFU TRIES TO GROW THROUGH HER DAMAGE WHILE HAVING A MARRIED LOVER . A SHORT STORY ABOUT PAIN, UNCERTAINTY AND FEAR. I HOPE YOU ENJOY!!
I pull the sheets closer to my chest, It is our first time,he is breathing heavily and I can hear his soft snore,I should dress up,go back to my hostel,delete his contact but I laid beside him,in his embrace. He wakes up and kiss my face, the room is dark,he can’t see my tears as I fake the moans and imagine what his wife looks like. I imagine her like the women I saw in magazines with the fashion photographers begging them to pose,women who makes decisions at a round table,women everyone calls “mah”. I feel a sharp pain in my abdomen but I can not tell him to stop,He keeps whispering sweet nothings into my ears while I make pain look good. I deserve the pain. He vibrates and slumps on the bed,pulling me into his arms, ” you have no idea how much I love you Ifu”. He smells of his perfume, the one I perceive from afar. He is too refined
I should have dressed up,gone back to my hostel, delete his contact , but I laid beside him,in his embrace.
* I have been away for a long time. So many things has happened. I’m here. I’m back. This story is in 3 parts, this is a welcome back gift for you *
A short story of Love, Betrayal,Corruption,Nigeria and Life
Today,Uncle Abiona will come home with his bride,the woman Mama has sworn to make life unbearable for,We will be going in the only “fine” car available in the village,Baba Jo’s rickety car that makes different sounds made of loosed bolts and clinging metals.
Mama told me to wear my colourful gown that is oversized,the gown reminds me of Joseph’s robe in the bible,but i don’t want to be thrown into a well so I decided not to show my friends,she bought it at the last market day and threw a broom at me when I wore it outside to go and show Dunni, the only friend that I know will not throw me into the well, Mama is wearing her yellow lace with her hairnet still on her head,she says it is not right for a woman her age who has grey hair to open her head because of Angeli . Uncle Abiona is coming from the white man’s land and he is coming with a WIFE! What will Mama tell Risikat who comes to cook and clean for us? What will she Tell Ayoke who brings Yam and pounds it for Mama? Mama has promised them all marriage to Uncle Abiona.
They said Uncle Abiona is very wealthy,a business man,Uncle Abiona is my mother’s younger brother,I live in Igboora,a little village where mud houses with tached roof till stood,where people still gather under the tree to listen to stories, where we still fetch from the stream ever since the borehole which has a big picture of the governor in his flowing agbada stopped working a week after it was erected,we still play boju-boju and the girls with their small breasts still walk around without wrappers.I am one of the girls and my name is Durojaye.
Mama told me that I’m an abiku and my mother died right after she gave birth to me and named me Durojaye ,Mama hates me and I hate her too because she calls me an abiku ,Aunty Comfort who was my mother’s best friend said I’m no abiku but my mother named me that when she knew she could not hold on any longer and my name means “Stay and Enjoy Life” which implies that I should live.
I’m in Baba Jo’s car,we are 5 at the back,I can’t breathe well,The trees are moving fast and the sun has been following us,I think the sun is my mother, she would love to see her little brother and his strange wife, My mother is the sun in the day and moon at night.I am juat waking and We are now in Ibadan,The dodo’kire left a bitter aftertaste in my mouth.
We are in the airport,the place is big and the floors are smooth,the air is cold and feels like I am in a new world,we were told to sit in a section and wait while Baba Jo went somewhere else,I looked around saw a woman whose skin is as pale as the albino in Igboora,but no,her skin is way better than the afin ,Everyone seem to be in a rush to get somewhere with their bags,I was still looking around when mama’s scream brought me back to life,I don’t know where she got the strength to run and jump on Uncle Abiona,I was so excited but Uncle Abiona looks different from the uncle i saw when I was 6 when he left Igboora,his neck now has layers and his skin is shining,Mama held on to him until he broke away looked at me.
“Jaye! Look at you,the last time I saw you you were still crawling”
He carried me and hugged me so tight I felt my ribs were about cracking and he whispered ‘I got plenty gifts for you’ I looked beyond his neck and saw her,looking pale and lost,I saw in her a mother and a friend,our story started there…
Baba Iyabo’s eyes has seen the world,maybe that is why he has all the wrinkles and his cheekbones are sunk in.He has seen the world our parents pray we never use pur eyes to see.
Nkan ojú rí enu o se so
Baba Iyabo’s hands has touched the earth,the wood,his eyes has seen the beauty and ugly of the World.Baba Iyabo’s World is the type of World our parents pray we never experience.
@abiola_a_a @toria_btw @amie.sparks @bobbyjed Thank you for reminding me that I write.
It all started when the boy from the big city crawled into small mind.
Now I wish I had seen Edward that day because I call him my ‘good luck charm’,maybe I should have never been the adventurous type,I should have never stopped dancing, should have never loved the breeze that went through my gown,into my soul and gave me inner peace.
But I did,I tried not to let his hands,the hands which I would later tell Nonso “Emeka has nice hands” I let his nice hands run over my face and when his breath ran through my neck, I gasped and then I lost it.
Then we talked about our Lovers.
How Edward is the love of my life or how he pictures his life with Ifemelu.
Ff I.G @abisolatiny.
Juggling school and the blog is hard work.
I miss you loves♥
Hey Loves! How you all doing? Missed me?
So let’s go down.Oh yes! Happy Easter in arrears. I’m currently in a taxi heading to Challenge, I’m going back to school.
So rewind to my last days in school.
I finished all my exam,I had to go home that very day,cancelled my plans to go for my departmental dinner, I was nominated as “best upcoming dancer” and “rookie of the year”,I had to stay back in school and just attend the dinner,I was busy all through the night.
I danced like never before and did some 18+ shii😆.Then I heard something that made me go wawuuu! But that didn’t get to me hell no! I found another spot o! And things went down,please don’t ask me.
So I packed my stuff,my friends and i are moving into another hostel in town,leaving Mozambique hall , I was not pained cause the nonsense that comes with that hall ehn,no be for here😠 I had to go to Osogbo before Ibadan,Boyfriend came to say bye,and I was batting my lashes to send the tears back, it was not like I wasn’t going to see him in Ibadan,but a day without my bestfriend is like a day without water.So i have a new rookie,Adesuwa,my course mate and a crazy girl.
I spent few days with my mum and Easter with my dad.Things have been happening but 🎤i’m still breathing
I’m in a bus going to Ife and I’m tired.I’ll gist you about what happened when I went to my best friend’s place.
Ola loved seeing me on stage acting and dancing,Ola would hug me after every performance and say
“My baby killed the show, all eyes were on you.”
Ola tied the knot with me and it was all over.I knew at that point in time that I’ve found the one,The person that would support me and my dreams.
We made our cool cash, Ola would wait for me in our sleek BMW while I’m at the location, and we would spend the rest of the night cooking and finally make love in the kitchen,talk about how we want our first Child to be a female and would name her Vanessa,he would kiss my forehead and call me the next best actress, who would own the next Oscar idol.Ola got all the respect as the husband of the fastest upcoming actress. I got an endorsement, I was reaching the peak of my career,I still check cooking tutorials for new recipies,we still munch popcorns while watching our favourite harry Potter.I have decides to slow down,Ola is important to me too,So I put my life in the dark for the sake of our love. I have started having nauseating feelings,but i think it is stress.
I have not stopped seeing my menstural cycle,so I am not pregnant.But Ola does not come home,he still buys my favourite ice cream,until I found the used condom in his back pocket and I’ve not made love to my man in weeks because the doctor said I am pregnant…..
From a relationship that ended the day it started .Taking another big risk,Dating my best friend😶
I wouldn’t lie,Am scared!
Besty has always been the only one I had,In this unseemly insane OAU world,He kept me sane,Besty is my diary,He knows all the detty sides of me,Besty would never judge me,Besty is simply my All.
But then I am one crazy,jealous girl.you can imagine his female friend who has decided to always call me by his ex’s name,arghh:? can people be less annoying in this life?
Or his friend trying to make me have doubts about the relationship.
Don’t say I am one hopeless Romantic,I can pretend not to be crazy in Love with Besty,then I’ll be constantly lying to myself.I get jealous too.I get insecured.But we all want the same thing. We all want Love.💑💏
*I know people would think my relationship has to be private,pull a Beyonce.Nope
The first people I had an encounter with in the Pit theatre. They initiated me into the ritual madness . They brought potentials out of me.Was it Oga Femi who will always encourage me,Funmi Mustapha,who is more like a sister to me and the first person I knew via IG and how I stalked her and wanted to be way better than her,Oni Titilayo,who won’t stop until I get that step and smile while dancing,who gave me so much love,Fisayo,who became a sister and watched me,Oni Sam, even with all the spanking,will still advise you or OSAO,whom I admire a lot,who won’t stop till he impacts knowledge into me,the only person that will call me and say “Bisi,you have to be careful” ,Jeff,who helped me with my level of energy, Jeff will take it hard on me till I get it right, Enoh,”my fine boy SEG” with all scolding during the initation just to help me or how am so grateful cause I learned how to have fun while dancing.Lara,who is my small but mighty sister who will always come to my rescue when anyone tries to bully me.Joel,who with all my wahala,still loved me and gives me the warmest hug.Sena,who is just too awesome but won’t let me be,Aunty Moyin directed my initiation play,i didnt get a role but then i love her strength,I’ve had encounters with each of them and they’ve taught one or two things.
Am very close to most of them, you can imagine them leaving me,my heart is breaking already but then I’ve vowed to help them,repay them,and I can only do that by helping with their final projects.
*Couldn’t get their pictures
I found a new spot,Around *1,000 seaters,the only place that seems to give me hope with this *Glo network,the atmosphere is so nice,you won’t really see couples doing all their stuff.
The project rehearsals are on and O goodness!! Am crying for my mummy! The rehearsals are like hell,no 4am shit but then I can have like 3 rehearsals at the same frigging time. You can imagine yourself rehearsing from 6am to 4pm and it’s not like you’ll be in a nice dance class with the A.C blowing your sorrows away o,Nah!! You’ll joyfully dance under the sun with your feet suffering.
Let’s leave that pit theatre part.I saw one of my results and I’m not impressed ,I hate the course,everyone literally does,I tried not to cry,but then I did and went back to read,had a little chit-chat with my cousin and read with my Bestie and his friends .I called my mum and told her,She didn’t freak out and I’m so grateful for that,cause an African mother’s drama at that point in my life would have been disastrous.I’m really scared.I am.
Let’s divert again;School is where you find Love too,innit? And sometimes it’s where you think you’ve found Love.I really need to get things straight like, Can I just take a step back to the past? I’d erase a whole lot of things.I do regret a lot of things too.But then Life is like a Rollercoaster, different crazy stages, just sit back and enjoy the ride.But I really want to go to Bora-Bora or Hawaii.
*1,000seaters is a lecture theatre in Obafemi Awolowo University.
*Glo is a network service provider in Nigeria