It breaks her heart,she felt like a wanderer,She heard herself breathing,she drank more water,stared at her phone,which contained her only hope of laughter and smiles,she saw the message, but tried to prentend like it was not meant for her , She knew it was for her,she tasted it,the thing that Clots and holds her throat,she knew if she swallowed,the drops Of salty water would be freed,she wanted to fight ,wanted To be free from herself, from the people she adored,she felt Insecured,she lost her bestfriends,she lied more to hide her new self,she hates the fact that her laughter rings out the loudest, Her smile the widest,showing her non-equal,tiny teeth,she was Pretending to be her shadow,she was drifting.
@abiola_a_a @toria_btw @amie.sparks @bobbyjed Thank you for reminding me that I write.
It all started when the boy from the big city crawled into small mind.
Now I wish I had seen Edward that day because I call him my ‘good luck charm’,maybe I should have never been the adventurous type,I should have never stopped dancing, should have never loved the breeze that went through my gown,into my soul and gave me inner peace.
But I did,I tried not to let his hands,the hands which I would later tell Nonso “Emeka has nice hands” I let his nice hands run over my face and when his breath ran through my neck, I gasped and then I lost it.
Then we talked about our Lovers.
How Edward is the love of my life or how he pictures his life with Ifemelu.
Ff I.G @abisolatiny.
Juggling school and the blog is hard work.
I miss you loves♥
Hey Loves! How you all doing? Missed me?
So let’s go down.Oh yes! Happy Easter in arrears. I’m currently in a taxi heading to Challenge, I’m going back to school.
So rewind to my last days in school.
I finished all my exam,I had to go home that very day,cancelled my plans to go for my departmental dinner, I was nominated as “best upcoming dancer” and “rookie of the year”,I had to stay back in school and just attend the dinner,I was busy all through the night.
I danced like never before and did some 18+ shii😆.Then I heard something that made me go wawuuu! But that didn’t get to me hell no! I found another spot o! And things went down,please don’t ask me.
So I packed my stuff,my friends and i are moving into another hostel in town,leaving Mozambique hall , I was not pained cause the nonsense that comes with that hall ehn,no be for here😠 I had to go to Osogbo before Ibadan,Boyfriend came to say bye,and I was batting my lashes to send the tears back, it was not like I wasn’t going to see him in Ibadan,but a day without my bestfriend is like a day without water.So i have a new rookie,Adesuwa,my course mate and a crazy girl.
I spent few days with my mum and Easter with my dad.Things have been happening but 🎤i’m still breathing
I’m in a bus going to Ife and I’m tired.I’ll gist you about what happened when I went to my best friend’s place.
Ola loved seeing me on stage acting and dancing,Ola would hug me after every performance and say
“My baby killed the show, all eyes were on you.”
Ola tied the knot with me and it was all over.I knew at that point in time that I’ve found the one,The person that would support me and my dreams.
We made our cool cash, Ola would wait for me in our sleek BMW while I’m at the location, and we would spend the rest of the night cooking and finally make love in the kitchen,talk about how we want our first Child to be a female and would name her Vanessa,he would kiss my forehead and call me the next best actress, who would own the next Oscar idol.Ola got all the respect as the husband of the fastest upcoming actress. I got an endorsement, I was reaching the peak of my career,I still check cooking tutorials for new recipies,we still munch popcorns while watching our favourite harry Potter.I have decides to slow down,Ola is important to me too,So I put my life in the dark for the sake of our love. I have started having nauseating feelings,but i think it is stress.
I have not stopped seeing my menstural cycle,so I am not pregnant.But Ola does not come home,he still buys my favourite ice cream,until I found the used condom in his back pocket and I’ve not made love to my man in weeks because the doctor said I am pregnant…..
From a relationship that ended the day it started .Taking another big risk,Dating my best friend😶
I wouldn’t lie,Am scared!
Besty has always been the only one I had,In this unseemly insane OAU world,He kept me sane,Besty is my diary,He knows all the detty sides of me,Besty would never judge me,Besty is simply my All.
But then I am one crazy,jealous girl.you can imagine his female friend who has decided to always call me by his ex’s name,arghh:? can people be less annoying in this life?
Or his friend trying to make me have doubts about the relationship.
Don’t say I am one hopeless Romantic,I can pretend not to be crazy in Love with Besty,then I’ll be constantly lying to myself.I get jealous too.I get insecured.But we all want the same thing. We all want Love.💑💏
*I know people would think my relationship has to be private,pull a Beyonce.Nope
The first people I had an encounter with in the Pit theatre. They initiated me into the ritual madness . They brought potentials out of me.Was it Oga Femi who will always encourage me,Funmi Mustapha,who is more like a sister to me and the first person I knew via IG and how I stalked her and wanted to be way better than her,Oni Titilayo,who won’t stop until I get that step and smile while dancing,who gave me so much love,Fisayo,who became a sister and watched me,Oni Sam, even with all the spanking,will still advise you or OSAO,whom I admire a lot,who won’t stop till he impacts knowledge into me,the only person that will call me and say “Bisi,you have to be careful” ,Jeff,who helped me with my level of energy, Jeff will take it hard on me till I get it right, Enoh,”my fine boy SEG” with all scolding during the initation just to help me or how am so grateful cause I learned how to have fun while dancing.Lara,who is my small but mighty sister who will always come to my rescue when anyone tries to bully me.Joel,who with all my wahala,still loved me and gives me the warmest hug.Sena,who is just too awesome but won’t let me be,Aunty Moyin directed my initiation play,i didnt get a role but then i love her strength,I’ve had encounters with each of them and they’ve taught one or two things.
Am very close to most of them, you can imagine them leaving me,my heart is breaking already but then I’ve vowed to help them,repay them,and I can only do that by helping with their final projects.
*Couldn’t get their pictures
I found a new spot,Around *1,000 seaters,the only place that seems to give me hope with this *Glo network,the atmosphere is so nice,you won’t really see couples doing all their stuff.
The project rehearsals are on and O goodness!! Am crying for my mummy! The rehearsals are like hell,no 4am shit but then I can have like 3 rehearsals at the same frigging time. You can imagine yourself rehearsing from 6am to 4pm and it’s not like you’ll be in a nice dance class with the A.C blowing your sorrows away o,Nah!! You’ll joyfully dance under the sun with your feet suffering.
Let’s leave that pit theatre part.I saw one of my results and I’m not impressed ,I hate the course,everyone literally does,I tried not to cry,but then I did and went back to read,had a little chit-chat with my cousin and read with my Bestie and his friends .I called my mum and told her,She didn’t freak out and I’m so grateful for that,cause an African mother’s drama at that point in my life would have been disastrous.I’m really scared.I am.
Let’s divert again;School is where you find Love too,innit? And sometimes it’s where you think you’ve found Love.I really need to get things straight like, Can I just take a step back to the past? I’d erase a whole lot of things.I do regret a lot of things too.But then Life is like a Rollercoaster, different crazy stages, just sit back and enjoy the ride.But I really want to go to Bora-Bora or Hawaii.
*1,000seaters is a lecture theatre in Obafemi Awolowo University.
*Glo is a network service provider in Nigeria
Maybe it was because I forgot to pray in the morning. I discovered something the day before yesterday,which broke me but then I got back easily.
- One of my results came out yesterday, I literally died twice,I wanted the tears to fall real bad,but then my eyes didn’t even show signs .I texted my Bestfriend instantly,then I sat on the floor,I was fidgeting. I called my mum and I told her,she encouraged to try harder,even suggested she coming to tutor me.I called my Bestfriend instantly and trust him,he threatened not to talk to me for a week if I cried. He insulted me out of the mood and I laughed in between the horror I found myself.
- The Nigerian cultural troupe were in Pit theatre, “ADEFILA” is the director and they were to stage Moremi. I got there and sat my butt down.Something had to cheer me up.And the performance was lit!! I enjoyed myself. Redefined Theatre, Modernized Theatre, I was screaming and looking back to see the look on the director.Pit theatre came alive. They were given a standing ovation.
- I got outside and saw Sister Lara,with Funmi Mustapha and Jeff,my senior colleagues, who will be graduating in less than 4months,She gave me a bag and told me to follow them,We got outside and Funmi Mustapha laid the banner,had the pictures of the Finalists ,I had goosebumps instantly. I’ve been trying to shake away the fact that these set of people won’t be in Pit theatre in few months, but the banner brought emotions,Jeff had to climb to erect it.I started sobbing,Reality was dawning on me…….to be continued
An incident happened where my classmate was embarrassed because of what she was wearing.It caused an uproar and she was told to excuse the class, you know how students would react,some people started taking pictures, while some booed ,some clapped.
My classmates and I sat rooted and dumbfounded, what she wore was not befitting ,soft! But then my ears heard hurtful and heart stabbing words, even from her classmates..some even said “she’s a drama student and will forever remain a drama student”, those words came from a dramatic arts student like her, like me.
“It’s dramatic arts,they won’t talk In the department” my classmate said that too,right to my face.
We all realized how bad what she wore to class was but why would people decide to judge,to say hurtful words without their own words pricking them.You can easily go meet the person and talk to her about her dressing,people have done that to me too and i appreciate it.Everyone talks without even checking themselves,All we want to do is criticize.
You can’t tell the next person beside you that what he or she is wearing is really bad,the next reply would be “am confortable in what am wearing” “come and buy clothes for me” “their own children are doing worse” have said things like that too.
Bob Marley once said
Before you point at another person check yourself and remember that the 4 fingers are pointing at you.
I was in a class on Tuesday morning,We’ve all given up on the lecture all because our lecturer won’t even show his own face in the class *welcome to the Educational system in Our own Naija* ,the man surprised us o,he came looking all radiat,didn’t even talk about the 4 or so classes that he refused to attend.
Very Bubbly man,the kind of lecturer that will always spice things up with stories, he had a story for every point he dotted out. He talked more about WOMEN ,It got to a point where I got really pissed,I really can’t put the words down just the way he said it but I’ll try to summarize in the way that I can.
During my postgraduate days,I went to read,I was on my own o when this lady came, in a mini skirt, I wonder why nobody wouldn’t want to rape her.
I never knew people still had this very absurd thinking about Rape,Why don’t you take your eyes away? I don’t support indecent dressing,its not right but using a Lady’s attire as an excuse for rape is crazy.
Little children often walk around bare due to heat and some other stuff,you can imagine an insane person trying to harrass the child sexually,well its not even surprising again cause some Mad people now walk around and say a 4year old was trying to seduce them.
It’s getting out of hand,Nobody is safe, I don’t feel safe,I walk around lookinUb should do something about